Olivia's orphanage

Today we visited Olivia's orphanage in Lin Xiang ( about a 3 hour bus ride north of Changsha). I was apprehensive about what we would find there but we knew it was a necessary part of Olivia's history for us to learn and come to terms with. Probably the only opportunity we would have to see it. We are the first group of adoptive parents to be allowed to visit this orphanage. The local TV news station was on hand to film the event (yes, I can find a way to get on the local TV news even when I'm 8000 miles away from Grand Junction)

(Olivia's crib is the one under the window)

The facility is a orphanage and an elderly care facility. The building is spartan, I could see light through the boards of the door near Olivia's crib covered with scotch tape. The nannies seemed to care a great deal about the children. They were genuinely happy to see her again, but they are spread over several children in cramped, sparsely appointed rooms. There was one heater to heat 3 rooms the babies live in.

The director of the facility was kind enough to give us the ID tag that still hung above Olivia's empty crib. Dawn's heart skipped a beat when one of the nannies ( photo below) approached holding a baby pointing to Olivia saying "mae mae"(little sister). It was not a relation to Olivia, all of the girls in the orphanage are referred to as "jae jae" (big sister) or "mae mae".

I was very reluctant to photograph the place where Olivia was found with her in the frame (the white spot next to the cart of oranges). To me it was the site of a very tragic event for her. One she will spend a lifetime grappling with, no matter how good a life we give her. Taking a photo on that spot smiling with her like we were standing next to Cinderella's castle in Disneyworld somehow minimizes how big that event is in her life. Other families took photos on the spots of their daughter's abandonment with smiling faces, don't they get it? or do I have it all wrong?

As we left, the elderly folks flocked around Dawn when she started showing the pictures of Xian Xian's (Shen Shen's) new family, the nannies nicknamed Olivia that. One woman smiled and touched Olivia's face and said, "you are an American girl now".

As we left many of the residents of the neighborhood followed us down the street to the bus to see us off and wish us well. It was an experience we will never forget. It was emotionally draining, we will sleep well in Yueyang (about 90 minutes away) tonight.

As we drove out of town, with the sun setting over the hills I began to reflect on the day. I realized that we often go through our daily lives and sometimes wonder... does anything we do amount to a hill of beans? Have I made any impact on the world around me? After today I understand that we have made a very big difference in this world to one little girl. It doesn't fix all that's wrong in this world but it's a pretty good start.

(Olivia's window was the one to the right of the woman on the balcony)